Farts = Funny

When you think of farts, go ahead do it….They are the best thing that our body gives us to work with. This is my father’s medium, he is a true fart-ist. He can make any situation even funnier with a well-placed fart. He is a master at this; there are 2 events that come to mind in the household that will blow your mind and ass.

My father’s holiday is Halloween, he loves to carve pumpkins and not because he loves to make jack-o-lanterns, it’s because for a week after his farts smell like pumpkin guts. I have no idea what the science is behind this happening, but it does indeed happen. He even takes brakes when carving to really get his face in some pumpkin guts to take a deep breath to absorb more of the smell. And let me tell you, it works. I am no doctor, but that can’t be right.

Another ass-tastic story is the time when one of our cats Moesha was doing what cats do; lick their ass right in front of you. She was enjoying her bath sitting near my father. My father emits gas all the time so it really didn’t shock us when he played his Stradivari-ass while lying on the floor with the cat. Moesha on the other hand was appalled at the lack of class my father showed her while she was licking her ass. She gave my dad a death-look and moved a few feet way and continued to lick her ass.